So real. So emo. So what...

I'm having a hard time trying to decide my feelings on certain things. I've been at this crossroads for awhile now. I feel like I've been mislead to this current position in my life. I feel betrayed by people I trusted. I feel like I trusted certain people too soon only to have them betray me a short while later.

What is up with people like that? You say one thing, but do another? That is something I'll never be able to comprehend. Thanks for wasting my time. I'd rather have wasted it elsewhere.

So where do I go from here? I was really excited about the new direction my life seemed to be going, and now it's at a stand still. I hope I'm not headed into another black hole of despair, regret and mental torment. Over the last several years, I've changed my way of thinking to a more positive outlook. And I'm not going to lie, but it has helped tremendously. Now however, I just seem to be getting the shaft on all that is important. Like my job. My music. My kid. My life with my husband. My family.

Maybe I'm just feeling overly emotional. My feelings are hurt worse than they've been in a long while. I don't like that. I feel extremely vulnerable. I'm getting mixed signals from the reception of my ambitions.

Anyways.... "What to do now", is I guess the thought I'll carry out into my sleep tonight.

If it is what it is... Than won't somebody clue me in, and tell me what the hell "it" is? Because I seem to be missing that point. And maybe I'm just ignorant.

So... Be... It...
I'm going to have myself a sleep.
Good Night.